Rants from the mind of a fictional character
by
Kelly Cunningham
(a character from Jane Owen's The Bitches of Suburbia)
Kelly Cunningham did not like current affairs,
did not like watching the news, reading the papers or listening to the
radio. Kelly’s mother had said, on many
occasions, that there were two things one should never discuss in polite
company: religion and politics and
seeing as the news mainly consisted of events caused by or involving religion
or politics, it frightened Kelly a little bit, it made people so very, very
angry. She still watched it though. Like most people she could remember quite
clearly where she was, what she was wearing even, when she’d turned on the news
and seen the Diana’s crumpled wreck of a car in the Paris underpass and the
national hysteria that had followed it had shaken her to the core. Kelly’s mother had also been a great believer
in the stiff upper lip, one simply didn’t fall apart like that, certainly not
at funerals. The same could be said of
9/11. Like most Europeans who’d grown up
with terrorism, she’d recognised it immediately for what it was and her heart
broke for the Americans whom she assumed, probably correctly, would be
irrevocably changed by this attack on home soil.
Since then, rolling news and smart phones had
brought a whole new level of anxiety to her life. Twenty four hour coverage of every dreadful
fire or mass shooting or car bomb came with eye witness reports filmed on an
iPhone. Nowadays people actually filmed
as they hid from machete wielding maniacs or lone psychopaths with automatic
weapons and it made it all so real, so close but it wasn’t even this so much
that upset Kelly, it was the slightly shaky footage of people crying outside a
burning tower block, people holding each other tight as they sobbed in front of
pop up shrines of cellophane wrapped flowers, helium balloons, candles and
teddy bears. It was the individual
stories of loss and fear that made the tears roll down her cheek.
Recently, even the politics had started to scare
Kelly. She was sure she would never be
able to quite forgive David Cameron for calling that referendum, a referendum
that had divided a country in a way not seen since Cromwell, that had brought
to the surface hitherto hidden feelings of resentment that Kelly, nice middle
class suburban housewife that she was, had had no idea were festering in the
nation’s bosom and the hatred felt by some Remainers towards the Leavers had
left her feeling sick to her stomach. A
dinner party with some of Martin’s work colleagues had ended disastrously when,
fuelled no doubt by French wine, a discussion about Brexit had resulted in a
guest and the host almost coming to blows.
She and Martin had made their excuses and left, not even bothering to
stay for dessert.
All this paled into insignificance however, when
compared to the threat of nuclear war, even more so because it all seemed to be
happening on Twitter. That was something
else that made Kelly Cunningham’s head spin:
social media and the speed with which it had become another weapon in a
politician’s arsenal. She wasn’t quite
sure had the world had come to point where world leaders could insult each
other and threaten to obliterate each other using 160 characters or less but
she was fairly sure her mother would not have approved of this impolite
conversation.
No, Kelly Cunningham did not like current
affairs, not one little bit.
Introducing...
The Bitches of
Suburbia
Nothing much ever
happened on Horseshoe Lane - why should it? It was, after all, just a normal
suburban backwater with the usual cross section of growing families, ageing
pensioners, the occasional singleton and a brace of curtain twitchers.
The arrival of celebrity couple, Heavenly and Travis, however, changes all that. This glamorous pair bring about a summer of competitive party throwing and ambitious home improvement projects that will have disastrous and completely unforeseen consequences.
The arrival of celebrity couple, Heavenly and Travis, however, changes all that. This glamorous pair bring about a summer of competitive party throwing and ambitious home improvement projects that will have disastrous and completely unforeseen consequences.
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| Buy NOW on Amazon! |
Neighbours who’ve
got by for years with just the occasional chat over a garden fence about the
unseasonable amount of rain or the state of next door’s garden are slowly
united by suspicion as a husband goes missing, a much loved cat turns up dead
on a doorstep and Enid from Number Seven is found badly injured at the foot of
the cliff.
Could one person
be responsible for all of this? Could that person be the strange and unlikeable
Hilary Jones from Number Nine? There was only going to be one way to find out
and it was going to involve a lot of whiskey….
In this her
wonderful follow up to ‘The Rock Star Known as Horse’, Owen’s riveting new
story finds a murky side to the suburbs, a side where petty jealousies and
neighbourly rivalries can escalate out of all control with calamitous results,
all intricately observed with her usual dark humour firmly to the
fore.
About
Jane Owen
After publication,
life became interrupted by an unfortunate traffic accident and Jane moved out
of London to Sussex and slowly returned to writing. Her novels don't fit
into any specific category and, frustrated by endless rejections along the
lines of 'You write beautifully but we don't know how to sell this book' she
started self publishing. Rave reviews gave her the confidence to keep
going and believe in what she was writing.
She's still in
Sussex, sharing her life with her musician partner, three horses and a dog and
divides her day between writing and riding.
Words from WWBB: Would your character like to voice their thoughts like Kelly Cunningham? Would you dare to let them have their say on current affairs from where they are in the world? Check out HERE for more details, and join us from November through to Christmas where characters are allowed free rein!
Don't let Kelly be alone!
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